


Puppet Clown

by AuroraMoe



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraMoe/pseuds/AuroraMoe
Summary: I do not condone abusive pre-game relationships.Please enjoy.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Puppet Clown

**You're so stupid, Kokichi.**

_Yes, I know._

Yet, I'll still sit here and wait for him.

It's been a while since we've promised to meet up. But, he's always late, so I guess it's okay. He must've lost track of time hanging out with Kaede again. 

He certainly hasn't forgotten about me, right?

I sit up from the bench, carrying my heavy feet with me. Hesitantly, I take out my phone only to be disappointed.

My face felt hot.

I'm so tired. 

It feels like the world is against me. 

Of course, he forgot.

**_______________**

Second times a charm. I sat alone in the cafe, the table clearly not made for one. He apologized for last time, and he made up. Why isn't he here on time again? If he really cared for him, then why didn't he know up at the proper date times? But, it's just so hard to accept that someone you've loved for so long accepts your feelings doesn't really love you. I put both of my hands under my chin. 

I probably look a mess right now. I'm just begging him to leave me now, aren't I? I look down at my phone, two hours have passed and he still hasn't arrived. Maybe he just got the dates mixed up?

"Excuse me, sir?" 

I look up for a brief moment, "Ah- yes?"

"Are you going to order?"

"No, actually. Thank you though."

Getting up from my chair, I silently walked over to the exit. Maybe I won't even text him about it this time. He'd enjoy the peace and quiet, wouldn't he? I got to my home much too slowly for my liking. Just as I had almost fallen asleep, my phone rang with the Danganronpa theme I had set for his ringtone.

Shuichi's custom ringtone. When I thought we were happy. When I thought he still had an interest in me.

"Hello?"

_"Ouma, where are you?"_

He can't even call me by my first name.

"Uhm, i-it got late and I headed home...You didn't let me know y-you were coming..."

_"Of course I was coming. Just...like I said...give me a little time. I got caught up and-"_

I hung up. I can't even listen to those dumbass lies anymore. It only makes me feel worse. 

But, I won't believe it. He still loves me, right?

_____________

He must think I'm a fucking joke. 

It's so funny that I'm suffering, isn't it?

Still, I can't stop myself from crying.

It's been a whole week since that phone call, and he hasn't said a word to me since. What the hell was I supposed to think now? It's like the air isn't reaching my lungs.

_"Oh god, I feel nauseous. Had my room always been spinning like this?"_

I'm gonna puke. Puke out all of my feelings, my oxygen, and my organs in general.

Ah, if I die today, who would really be sad?

Would it really be my sad end, or would people start celebrating? 

And yet, I still can't reach him no matter how much I try to convey my heart's wants and needs.

_Maybe I should learn how to play the piano. No matter how you play it, the piano will always sound like a sorrowful instrument to him. And to be honest, it would distract him a little._

Why does the earth move? Is it oblivious to all of the pain and suffering, or does it just carry us like an old train driver? 

It feels better when you don't breathe for a moment. Just for a moment. The silence is comforting, in its own way. 

Fuck.

My mind keeps going back to the day I met Saihara.

He was so kind to me and told me all of his secrets. At the moment, I thought it was fate that we had met. That may be, he was the missing puzzle piece that I needed. I should've known better. But, the willing touch of someone else had blinded me. The warmth filling my senses as I forgot about everything else in the world. By your smile, and your gesture of kindness, I was completely left broken afterward.

If eyes were an opening to the soul, then, did Saihara not have one? It always seemed to genuine, but, now that I look back at it, maybe I was just happy about having human affection for the first time in forever. God, I feel so stupid.

**I know I'm stupid.**

How did I get outside?

I don't know, but I'm suddenly walking to school.

I never wanted to go back to school. 

I mean, I would always go run and hide in the bathroom for 9 hours.

But, then, that would mean I'm a coward. That I was submitting to my emotions. 

I don't want to be labeled as a coward anymore.

**I'm tired.**

Can't his heart just stop? His breath, his lungs? Anything? 

My tired feet carried me towards my classroom. Though I was late and the classroom was already full, I still felt alone and empty. I wish I still had my purity and my innocence. I wish I had never met Saihara. My life fucking sucks because of him. I hate it, I hate it. I hate him.

The pencil cracks. Hot tears run down my face.

This is all his fault that I'm so ashamed of myself.

I wish I hadn't agreed to that night. I was so blinded by love, and when I finally realized that I didn't want it he didn't fucking listen to me. He took it without my consent. And yet, still talked me into the shit he made me do. 

It was for our love, I repeated to myself. We'll be together longer if I do this for him. 

That was a fucking lie. And I hate liars.

That means I hate Shuichi.

_Bing Bong._

The first period is over. Thank god. I couldn't have possibly stayed in there for another minute without stabbing myself with a pencil. 

I was walking to my next class until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

_Baaaping_ _._

A text? From Saihara?

_\-- "Look, Ouma. I'm sorry I haven't seen giving you my full attention these past months. And I want to make it up to you because I just now noticed. Come over to my house, and skip your classes. I have a surprise for you :)"_

He can't keep doing this. 

He just now fucking noticed?

_I guess I'm still weak for you, Saihara. I'm sorry. I feel dirty doing this all over again._

**You're so stupid, Kokichi.**

 _Yes, I_ _know_.


End file.
